One of the biggest challenges of a relationship is transforming a house into a home. Home is defined as the place where one lives, especially as a member of a family or household. But a home is much more than just a place to live in! It’s where you run to in your hour of need, fear and anxiety. It provides solace and peace of mind. It protects you from the harshness of the world. It allows you to be yourself and takes care of you. It also provides a sense of belongingness and identity.
As the relationship progresses, how does the home change?
The concept of home changes under certain circumstances. Namely, you could be newly married and have to move in to live with your in-laws. It’s their house and you’ll have to fit in. To begin with, perhaps the only place you can truly call your own will be your bedroom. Only there, you’ll have the freedom to add in elements that reflect your style and personality.
Another scenario involves you or your partner moving to another city for a new job or posting. It means finding a house that not only suits your basic needs but also your budget. Or you might be in a live-in relationship and although you’re madly in love with your partner, you don’t particularly like his or her taste in home décor.
Then again, you might be a couple who moves to a new city every 3-4 years to fulfil their need for travel, meeting new people and keeping their life and relationship exciting. You might believe in living life in style and love entertaining. That could entail a spruced up home that constantly goes through a makeover every few months to keep it new, fresh and trendy.
Whatever your relationship status, your bond of togetherness is strengthened by your ability to create a home.
Beyond the need for understanding, love and acceptance that a successful home life requires, there is also a more practical aspect to consider!
Often specific items of furniture, knickknacks, appliances, or décor ascertain the identity of a home. Some people might have a favourite corner of the house to call their own or a favourite piece of furniture. They derive a feeling of safety and warmth from these. In fact, it’s interesting to see how upset and disturbed they feel when these are moved, something else is put in their place, or they’re given away.
Within these parameters, recreating a living space with furniture that uniquely reflects your personalities is often hard. Sometimes, after purchasing a piece of furniture you realize that it doesn’t suit the space or match with the rest of the decor. When living in a rented apartment, spending too much money on furniture can seem unnecessary. In addition, you’ll have to forcibly tag them along no matter where you go or whatever you achieve in terms of income and position in life. It can be extrapolated to reflect your old mindset and standard of living.
Generally, furniture is considered to be big-ticket items and the buying experience can lead to arguing about size, shape, style and personal preference. Then there are budgetary considerations especially if both of you have divergent views on financial matters. Often one partner might only look for utility while the other needs to feel house proud. For the less vocal partner, forcibly having to adjust to living arrangements can make them feel unhappy and discontented which in turn can impact their personal interactions.
How to make a house your home?
Therefore, the way forward would be to find alternatives or solutions that address both partner’s needs and wants. Sometimes just the effort put in to find a solution helps make compromising easier. Another quick solution includes renting furniture and home appliances from a tried and tested online rental company with a wide geographical presence like Cityfurish. It’s a win from many aspects including comfort, elegance, quality product, great service post delivery and value for money. When you tire of a particular look, without too much effort and investment you can easily look at renting a newer look for your home. Or you can buy off any piece of furniture you fall in love with.
Making a home requires both partners working jointly to create a safe haven for themselves. More importantly, taking care of the necessities frees up that much more time and mental space for you to strengthen other aspects of your lives.
(Beyond Love, what is necessary to make a house a home was first published in Pottsandpan on January 16, 2018)