“Renewed faith to start afresh” – that’s what happened to me last month!
I took a trip down memory lane with the sole intention to recreate the magic of every experience, every moment spent together with close friends in Gurgaon, the previous city where we had spent three wonderful years. While preparing for the visit I was super excited – almost as if I had put ‘living’ on hold since we had left them to set-up home in Bangalore, a little more than 2 years ago! There was a visible change in the way I went about planning, preparing and packing.
I wanted to spend quality time with all our friends there, have those long awaited heart to heart chats, drink and drown away the pain of being away from them. Many of these friends were the only family we knew and wanted our daughter to know.
The first few days went by in a haze of catching up and talking about the old times. It felt wonderful and rejuvenating. It was heartening to see our 14 month old daughter adapt with ease to seeing and meeting new faces – making herself at ‘home’. I was overwhelmed to realize that our friends had missed us as much as we had missed them. In their own ways they too wanted to desperately recreate the magic of days gone by.
Then one evening as we sat around talking, drinking I finally came to terms with the fact – that I had actually put my life on hold for the past two years in Bangalore! Even with the birth of our daughter I hadn’t been able to let go of that feeling. Her birth was the highlight of our new life here – yet I went about as if this was a stop-gap arrangement. There was something missing or perhaps not right about our life here.
But, two years is indeed a long time and things had changed. Life had ‘happened’ to each one of us. That was evident in more ways than one – we had adjusted and adapted to the changes in our lives, we had made new friends and connections, our outlook had evolved, more so our needs and wants had begun to reflect those changes. Unknowingly, we had each moved on! Even though I felt I had put life on hold, I realized that I had moved on too.
Of course with realization comes acceptance – that’s what happened to me. I came to acknowledge and accept that its not possible to recreate the magic of life gone by. Even the most subtle changes in our lives impact us as people – current priorities change our outlook which in turn slowly seeps into our everyday. And in an attempt to deal with the inevitable, no matter how much we resist we do respond differently in accordance to changing situations and circumstances.
Interestingly, I wasn’t surprised or shocked at this realization. It wasn’t a bolt from the blue – I think I always knew it. It was now just a matter of accepting openly that Bangalore had a lot more to offer me and my ‘life’. I realized that these friends would always remain my close friends and family. I would continue reaching out to them whenever I needed to. I wanted to remember and cherish the good old days with them just as they were and wanted to create newer experiences. I wanted to live in the moment and make the most of my time with them. Suddenly, there was no need to ‘re-create’ the magic!
So, when it was time to leave Gurgaon I wasn’t unhappy – somewhere there was relief, knowing that there was much more to look forward to in Bangalore.
As the flight took off, it renewed my faith in God and I send out a little prayer to say, ‘you know best what’s good for me and I trust you to show me the way, always’. 🙂