I write therefore I am

Conversations

The most amazing thing about them is that some conversations leave us wanting for more while others loose us even before they started!

Why?

Delving deeper I wondered – is  it the content or the people that mattered? Yes, to an extent, both. I’ve also experienced occasions when I might hate or dislike the person, but we’ve had a great conversation, one that I will always remember. And then, there is the element of our present state of mind – that which makes us more receptive to certain conversations.

Conversations are windows of opportunities – they allow us a chance to express what we might have always wanted to say. They’re cathartic – and therefore equally stressful.

Recently I was going through a rough time and almost on the verge of breaking down. I felt like I had no one to turn to – I desperately needed an outlet to vent. Blogging or having long internal monologues wasn’t helping. Almost like a god-send, a close friend called! I was surprised – my friend always called in the morning on her way to work, almost never in the evenings. I was overwhelmed – it was almost like God realised that he needed to reach out and hold me together from breaking down! He needed to remind me that I wasn’t alone. I was so glad she called. We spoke – that was it. I was at peace.

Similarly while chatting with my husband on another occasion, we both realised, that what we missed the most in Bangalore, were the conversations we had with our friends living in Gurgaon. Conversations that seamlessly moved from family, work, politics, life, spirituality, relationships, internal turmoils, the sciences! These conversations held us together during both happy and rough times. They made us complete and lent voice to who we were as individuals. They reflected that we are all a sum of our different parts or selves – we could be different things at different points in time.

Sometimes the most inane conversations help turn our world around – is it because on these occasions we let our imagination run wild? We literally build castles in the air – we can achieve anything and although we emote in jest its our way to release the heartache, pain, hurt. Perhaps these are also moments when reality takes a backseat releasing us from the mundane.

Conversations help balance the rigmarole of everyday life – they strike a chord where it hurts the most – they are our support when the darkness becomes overwhelming. They mirror our fears, they help us grasp at straws by breaking through the net of negativity – they are a reminder that we’re fragile yet hopeful.

Conversations give us a fresh lease of life – when it puts us in touch with the core of who we are – when it reminds us why we fell in love, why something is important, why we do the things we do – when we’re on the verge of loosing ourselves or people who matter.

And lastly, the most important thing we can do with conversations is re-play them in our heads for the longest time – the edges might fade, their impact might lessen – but nonetheless, they help relive moments. They are our ability to turn back the clock – but this time we have the power to tweak the content and change their direction or endings to suit ourselves.

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This entry was posted on April 23, 2013 by in Reflections and tagged , , , , , , , .

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