Precisely 19 days later, I’ll become a mother! I’m excited, freaked out, worrying myself silly, trying to do as much as I can before the baby’s arrival…yet feel like there is still do much more to do.
But ironically I’m calm too! Every time I’m conversing with well wishers – some help put things in perspective, some narrate their experience as the worst that could have happened, some pass on their worries on to me saying that these are just a few things that I’ll begin missing as soon as the baby arrives, some say my life will never be the same again.
They’re perhaps all right in their own ways, but I’m not worrying so much about what others are telling me. Yes it will be a change, but one that I’ve been looking forward to for so long that I don’t care about the consequences. It’s my dream come true and I’m willing to play ball! 🙂
Then there are those who are sending me lists to help prepare for the baby’s arrival – they’re really useful and I know will tide me over till I get a hang of this new experience. Interestingly, my bibles, ‘What to expect, when you’re expecting‘ and ‘What to expect, in the first year‘ are proving to be most useful and practical. It’s like a soothing balm – every time I get worked up with excess advice, I just need to read these books and I feel I’m in control and will manage just fine.
Some advice I think I can do without – I’m accident prone (generally) and so have been quite worked up with being careful taking care of myself. Yet those who constantly remind me of keeping the bathroom floor dry, not walking over recently wiped floors, keeping one hand free while carrying stuff, walking slowly etc don’t help me at all! They just make me feel more insecure and aware of my condition. I just hope they would stop. Why do they have to consider it their bloody moral duty to remind me at every waking moment?
Yes, I’ve also tried to acknowledge that I’m high strung these days, my hormones are playing up making me prone to taking things to heart – I should be more prudent to understand that people mean well. I’ve done all that but would really want people to simply share their experiences without assuming that I will definitely go through the same and there can be no other alternative just because they’ve gone through it! I guess that’s why reading the expectation books comfort me so much – there is advice but one which I’m free to pick and choose. It doesn’t feel like it’s being shoved down my throat.
Some times I’d also like people to talk about completely unrelated things – the conversation doesn’t always necessarily need to revolve around the pregnancy. There is so much more to life. Why do people feel like I won’t relate to any other topic apart from the baby project? The bump can be a conversation starter but taking up the entire time spent together – I just don’t understand that. Is it because it helps them to relive their experiences, talking about it gives it a perspective other than being this drastic ‘change’ in their lives they’ve had to deal with, it tides them over the jealousy they feel for me still living an uncomplicated life?
The only way to keep my sanity these days is to tell myself, everyone has gone through these experiences in their own ways – so will I!