I write therefore I am

Nice girls don’t ask!

I just finished reading the article ‘Nice girls don’t ask’ on Harvard Business Review. Research has shown that both conscious and subconscious biases contribute to the problem of men and women still being treated unequally at the workplace, but one subtler source of inequality is that ‘Women often don’t get what they want and deserve because they don’t ask for it!’

So true! I’m living proof of the fact that I haven’t got what I wanted or really deserved professionally as I’ve never assertively asked for it. I’ve always firmly believed that let my work do the talking, people will judge me through my work, their acceptance of my capabilities is enough to make me feel happy about myself. I try and look at both sides of the story, form my own opinion but only voice that which is politically correct. I openly offer advice and support if people ask for it or even if it’s only a conversation, without for a moment thinking, what’s in it for me? Should I really be doing this? How will the information be used? Does the other person really deserve my help? Wasn’t this the same person who’d stabbed me sometime ago?

Yes this stance has helped me to gain credibility, create a niche for myself and build a strong network of contacts. Sometimes, it’s made me seem unbiased and objective.

But, now I strongly believe that amidst this, people have come to take me for granted – the general feeling is that she’s a ‘nice’ person and very helpful. She’s adaptable so will accept whatever is doled out to her. Perhaps some feel she’s just too naive (read stupid). In fact, a contact recently told me, ‘if you don’t have an opinion, you don’t count!’

There have been numerous occasions when I’ve wanted credit for something that I’ve truly done but never pushed for it or simply preferred to remain in the background. Happy and satisfied, internally, that I made it happen. People have individually come to says thanks but it’s rarely ever been in public. Reading the HBR article, I felt like I’d let myself down. I should have been more assertive.

I can think of many reasons for being this way but I don’t want to give myself any excuses today!

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on April 13, 2012 by in Reflections and tagged , , , , , , , , , .

Tweets

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 1,766 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 3,697 hits
Protected by Copyscape DMCA Takedown Notice Violation Search
Sugarfree Sweetheart

an illustrated diabetic-friendly food blog

The Green Tree

Rain, sunshine, magical world, keep walking!

Doodles By Me

Daily Inspirations and Doodles by Me!

Cheeni Thoughts

a lifestyle blog!

My Daughters' Mum

Mother, woman, lover, daughter, myself: the whole is greater than the sum of its parts

The Chatterjis Blog

The Uncensored Household

jerry-mahoney.com

Author, ranter, dad

%d bloggers like this: