I write therefore I am

A New Dawn

23 August 2011

Yes indeed a step forward…for the first time sent off this link to someone I know…shared it with someone…it was gibberish perhaps…and full of contradictions…they tried to make sense of the madness but perhaps it didn’t…there was just too much turmoil…

But of course there was…that was what I had to get out of my system…it only had to make sense to me and it did…and it was an outlet…a way to calm myself…let the pain and hurt flow out…

It did…and now a new dawn…another one that makes sense to only me…but it has happened…have been reading a book ‘live your dreams’…and it all makes sense…it’s crystal clear…I believed in miracles…it happened to me…today…

I wanted the good to happen and it did…with me at work…and also personally…don’t know when it began…the seedling of hope that was slowly growing…in my head…I got a text that asked me to begin the new decade with a fresh perspective…make a new start…that would make me happy…change my life…and I did…

It took a while but took a first step…and then another…while reading the book all I wanted to believe in was that god only helps those who helps themselves…I have to swim out into the ocean to catch that wave of my life…and I took the plunge…

I willed things to happen and they did…there were three opportunities that I have been wanting to happen did…and I wouldn’t have believed the way they happened…I just wanted them…and they appeared…out of nowhere…

I’m thrilled…I suddenly want to live happy…I’m alive…and I can’t thank god enough…

Sat watching a movie this evening and of course felt emotionally involved in a few scenes…and I knew why…it included a child…a lost child…who later finds her parents…and someone to love…of course it was a fairy tale…bu fairy tales do come true…if you want them to…

God’s given me signs…strong signs…that I simply cannot resist…there is just one more step to take…that would make this journey come alive. Just one more step…and I’ll be closer to my goal…and I can do it…I will do it…what am I afraid of…that if I get that success what will I do…can I handle it…of course I can…

I can conquer my fears with a bit of help…and the help suddenly seems to come from all sides…I’m loving every moment of it…thank you lord…thank you for everything…

All the negativity has to work for me…work with me…goad me to achieve my true potential…it’s just the beginning…and I can control my thoughts…my thoughts will control my actions…and give them new meaning…

I feel like I’ve gone back in time…a time when I could make things happen…when there was just so much positivity that no amount of apprehension touched it…I could do whatever I wanted…I wanted it…and I got it…

Don’t know why I’d lost that touch…but I’m glad it’s back. Perhaps I needed to go through the phase of feeling depressed…of hurting…that at everystep…I was loosing…I couldn’t compete…I was helpless…there was nothing I could do to make it right…

But of course there was something to do…I was the only one who could make it right…and since I’ve been through that bad phase…this makes sense to me…this makes it all worthwhile…I’m embarking on a new journey to find me…to respect and love the one person who matter the most…ME!

I love me…and I want me to be happy…I will make a difference…I will do it…I can pull a rainbow out of the feeling of hopelessness…depression…utter sadness…after all rainbow only comes out when it’s rained…heavily…

Too many things did go wrong with me…it poured…so much…till I had no tears left…and now I can draw out the rainbow…

Tomorrow is a new day and I see the silver lining…one that gives me so much pleasure…one that will make my life complete…

Thank you…thank you for everything…

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This entry was posted on March 21, 2012 by in Mixed Up and tagged , , , , .

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